Type 3
There's a term in the diabetes community: Type 3. The Type 3 diabetic is the caretaker of the type 1: the mom, the dad, the spouse, the grandparent. We are the people who don't have diabetes, but are impacted by our Type 1 loved ones. I can never fully know what it's like to have Type 1. I can wear a CGM, I can inject myself with a blank syringe, I can test my blood sugar and carb count my meals. This is not what it means to have diabetes, these are simply tasks a person with diabetes must perform to stay alive. I will never truly know what it feels like to HAVE diabetes.
It's hard to tell Walker she can't have a treat like her other friends because her blood sugar is just too high. Or to make Ollie sit down and drink juice when all he wants to do is compete in a race. It breaks my heart that I can't fix it, and my words of consolation feel empty. Thankfully I'm the odd one out in the family. I'd much rather take the "burden" of being different than inflict that on my children. Thankfully the majority of the Aikman family gets what it means to be Type 1, there's comfort in that. Unlike most T1Ds, my children will never feel alone in their journey. They have each other to lean on, and this is the one bright spot of having 3 Type 1s in the family. It’s a gift.
But being Type 3 has its own struggles in a way my Type 1 family will never fully understand, just as I will never fully understand theirs. I'm like a male gynecologist. I have read all the books and studied all the charts, but in the end I can't relate in a way where I truly GET the ones I'm helping. The best way I can describe it is like riding on the Antique Cars at an amusement park; you're steering that wheel and honking the horn and tapping the gas pedal but ultimately the car is on its own course, one you have just about zero impact on. As an 8 year old I thought for sure I was driving a real car, I just didn't notice the iron rail along the path.
Every day I wish I could switch places with my kids and husband. If even for a few measly hours, I wish they could shake free of this unrelenting burden. Please, give it to me, I’ll take it gladly. This is what it means to be a Type 3.
