Jim

I have avoided writing this post for a while. It hasn’t been my story to tell. I’m afraid to even try, for fear of getting it all wrong and painting the wrong picture of the most influential person in Marshall’s life. But Marshall asked that I share.

Jim Aikman was only 35 years old when he passed away, 40 years ago today. It was 1978; Marshall was 4 years old, his sister Rachel was 7, and his mom and dad had been married only 8 years. Jim had Type 1, and while driving his car he suffered a severe low and consequently crashed. He died a few hours later at the hospital.

It wasn’t Jim’s fault. He wasn’t being reckless or negligent. It was a tragic accident. He didn’t have the tools we have now. Home glucose meters weren’t available until 1981, which means he never actually knew his blood sugar, and was always having to go off feel. The only way to know if his blood sugar was high was to test his urine, and that would have been hours inaccurate. He was always doing the best he could with what he had available to him. In 1978 it wasn’t much.

He was diagnosed in the late 50s, and at the time was attending boarding school in Connecticut. After he was diagnosed he had to leave school and attend a different school in Vermont to be closer to his parents who lived in Montreal. Marshall doesn’t know much about his dad’s diabetes. It wasn’t something his grandparents necessarily shared, and by the time Marshall was diagnosed and wanted to know more, they had also passed.

All Marshall has of his dad is memories, and they’re limited. He has stories that his mom, sister, aunts and uncles, and cousins have shared. But he was only 4, barely old enough to have any true memories of his own. He has pictures, which he cherishes. But a 4 year old, 16 year old, and 40 year old want more than just stories and pictures. The things Marshall wishes he knew about his dad can’t be seen in pictures or gleaned from stories.

But even though Jim may be gone, he has always been a father to Marshall. He has had more influence on Marshall than most dads who live into their 80s. I see it more now that Marshall is a dad. He is the dad to Ollie and Walker he wished he had always had, and the dad he imagines Jim would have been had he had the chance.