What if

Anybody who is a parent has had the thought cross their mind: what if something were to happen to me, and who would take care of the kids? It brings tears to my eyes to consider, even before the summer of 2015. Since the kids diagnoses, the thought rocks me to my core.

It’s a heavy request for anyone, to go to a family member or dear friend and ask them to take on that role in case of “what if”. Now, imagine having not just one but two kids with high medical needs, high medical expenses, and consequently exponential guardianship needs, and ask the same question. How could we possibly prepare anyone for that job? Who would agree to such a request? A Herculean task.

Luckily, I know Hercules. He happens to be my brother.

When we asked him we wouldn’t let him answer right away. We asked that he and his wife talk it through. Instantly he said that of course he would take the kids if the horrible ever did happen, and he would do it with love, but again we asked him to really sit with it. He humored us, and said he would, but his mind had already been made. Little did we know but they had already discussed this scenario.

Us Duartes, we like to prepare. We make lists, we lay out our clothes the night before, and we study. And damned if he hasn’t studied all there is to know about the kids’ diabetes. He’s read the books, watches intently as we change sites and sensors, and asks all the right questions. And he knows truly caring for the kids goes beyond insulin and blood sugar regulation. He sees the social, emotional, and psychological aspect of the disease that lies beneath the surface. These components become crucial when you think about nurturing the whole child, and supporting them as they find their way in the world. The kids see his interest in learning it all, and although they don’t know all the reasons why, they’re pretty impressed and honored by his commitment to them. And they adore him. So there’s that.

If that day were ever to come, we know the kids would be safe, feel secure, and ultimately loved beyond measure. Because they already are.