Shouldering Stress
I got my first migraine when I was 26, during my second year of graduate school. I thought I was either dying or having a stroke, one of the two. Since then I have experienced migraines consistently, but not overwhelmingly, throughout my life. I have friends who endure migraines weekly, if not daily. I can't even imagine. The 4 or 5 I get a year seem more than enough for my liking. To these people: you have my deepest sympathies and respect. I have tried pinpointing the triggers and the only constant I come to is stress. I have always been a stress filled person, and certain times in my life seem to brim with it: graduate school, motherhood, family, work, health. I'm really good at putting my head down and plowing through things, but what I've found is at some point something's got to give. So every couple months my body strikes back.
The first migraine caught me off guard. By now I know the signs and, if I'm in the right time and place, can get ahead of it for the most part. It starts with blind spots, and then comes the telltale aura. If I can get to the meds, and get horizontal it will hopefully only be a few hours of complete incapacitation. Nausea, partial paralysis, brain fog, slurred speech, and of course head splitting pain are par for the course. Regardless of the meds, I will inevitably feel like I've been hit by a truck for a couple days to come.
And if all I had to worry about was myself it would be much easier, but I don't. Such is the life of a mom, and doubly so of a mom to 2 high needs children. Thankfully, like I said, this isn't a daily occurrence for us. The kids are older and able to entertain themselves and are even quite empathetic and willing to watch over me and tend to my needs. They're very sweet. But that doesn't erase the fact that someone needs to always be keeping an eye out for their safety. Sure, I'm no longer worried they might trip on the stairs or swallow a marble, but there is the real fear that their blood sugar might crash or their pump might stop working. When I'm in the throes of a migraine I'm not in my best frame of reasoning, and this could get very dangerous very quickly.
The new protocol is this: once I realize what's in store for me, and after I down a couple Excederin, I start getting things in place. I let the kids know that I'm "getting one of my bad headaches", and right away they know to tone down the volume and give me space. I have them check their blood sugar and make any adjustments while I'm still able to do simple decision making. I keep my phone close to where I'll be resting so that I can hear any low alarms from their CGMs and if I'm able to see I can check their blood sugars as well. The kids know what snacks are "free" (no carb and therefore no need for insulin), and what snacks are their go-to for lows. If I call out, "go eat 15 grams", they know what to do. They're also quite good at checking their own number and dosing a bolus of insulin if they're high.
As the kids get older they become more self-sufficient, especially when it comes to their own health. They're feeling their lows more and know what needs to be done to bring their blood sugar back up. Gradually we'll ease into a time when they'll be in total control of their diabetes care, because like we always tell them, nobody knows their body like they do. Marshall and I will always be there to help them, that will never change, even when they're grown and on their own. Until they're ready and confident to take on that stress I will happily shoulder it for them.
My most recent headache companion
A sweet Get Well card
